Victim Mentality Freedom

VMP. I just learned a new acronym. I always love learning new acronyms. This one sounds like a venereal disease. Actually, it stands for “Victim Mentality Propaganda.”

Now, what’s interesting about this “condition” is that it connects the word “mentality” with “propaganda.” Of course, there are people who are perpetual victims, who blame the world for their problems and take no responsibility for their lives themselves.

But those who WERE victims and have moved beyond it, have a story to tell. That is not propaganda – that is the survivor’s story, the cautionary tale. That is what my memoir is.

Unfortunately VMP comes precariously close to “BVM” or “Blaming the Victim Mentality.” This acronym (I just made it up) came in response to a book called "Blaming the Victim" about women (primarily) who have experienced sexual abuse or domestic violence. It answers the question of “Why didn’t she just leave? No one was putting a gun to her head.” In some cases, there was a gun. In some cases, just the threat of a gun was enough.

I can recall many times in my cult when I was threatened with death, destruction or maiming if I were to leave. I was convinced the devil would take me if I left and yes, I took it very seriously. I was under the thrall of mind control.

It takes a great deal of courage (if not desperation) to finally leave any abusive situation. But psychological or spiritual abuse is the most challenging precisely because there IS no gun. One can argue that “it’s all in your head,” like the “gaslight effect.” (If you’ve never seen the movie “Gaslight,” I highly recommend it.) But that is the essence of mind control – that you think it is all in your mind when it is not. There are outside forces at work.

Healing is a process from victim to survivor to thriver. As a victim, I was stuck in my abusive situation. As a survivor, I excaped. As a thriver, I now live and share what I have learned through VMP -Victim Mentality Freedom. But I am ever mindful of those victims who are still caught in their desctructive webs of abuse and are trying to break free. I pray that my story (not propaganda) may assist them in some small way.

Thanks, Dalai Lama

“The best thing is, whenever exploitation, sexual abuse or money abuse happens, make them public.”
The Dalai Lama

I ran across this quote as I was sailing through cyberspace and it made my heart skip a beat. I hope the Dalai Lama said it and there’s no reason to believe he didn’t. (There goes my skepticism again.) He is a religious leader, not a cult leader.

The essence of bondage seems to lie in secrecy. When abuse is made public, there’s no more room for speculation, shame or fear. That’s why a free press is SO important and why cults do everything in their power to suppress the expression of free speech.

I strongly believe in the freedom to open the lockbox. That was a major motivation in why I wrote my memoir, Losing the Way. I decided to make my abuse public as a way of ensuring that it wouldn’t happen again – not to me, not to anyone else.

The Bible talks about this all over the place but I’d have to look long and hard to locate the scriptures – they’re all about confession and walking in the light and shunning things done in darkness– something like that. (Perhaps this is an indication of my recovery- that I’ve actually forgotten where some of the verses are. Either that or its early onset Alzheimer’s.)

Anyway, I’m so glad to have found this quote and wanted to share it with you. Hope you find solace in it as well.