Someone may notice that I changed the heading of this blog from "Cults and Trauma" to "Cults and Recovery" and this person may say to him or herself, "hmm, I wonder why she did that." The reason is quite simple. That is what this blog is turning out to be.
It seems that blogs are organic, evolving things and, Mystery forbid, that I conspire to stunt its natural course. It grows as I grow. If I stop growing, I may very well be stuck in cults and trauma, overwhelmed still by my upbringing and involvement in a destructive cult. But the truth of the matter is that, I'm fine. I'm absolutely fine. One might even say, I'm "recovered."
Well, maybe I won't go that far but I'm certainly on the road towards a healthier outloook and healthier way of life. The original purpose of this blog was to reach out to other people who have experienced abuse and to offer hope. I still want to do that but I would be lying to say that I needed hope. I have hope, finally, after years of struggle. I have a faith and a purpose. I have a home and people who love me, whom I love. Life is grand.
It's easy to get stuck in focusing on the "wounded inner child" - the child who was abandoned and abused, traumatized. It's easy to forget to develop a strong loving inner adult, one who cares for you and allows you to care for yourself. My daughter reminded me that she, as my "outer child" was very happy and I, as my "real adult" was also. So, sometimes, the trick of recovery is simply having your inner reality agree with your outer reality.
At the risk of freaking some people out, I'm going to quote the Bible. (I still love the Bible - another sign of recovery.) "When my mother and father forsake me, then the Lord will take me up." Psalm 27:10. It's an amazing thing, our capacity to heal and I thank God or the Universe or the Mystery for the grace to be in a place where I can say...."I'm better."